Oh dear. Poor neglected little blog, I haven’t forgotten you. It’s difficult to summon up something nice to write about. All I can think of is my poor little Spot. I’m sorry; I know I’m being melodramatic. Just humour me for now, this is a huge deal to me.
MIL, in one of her usual bouts of ‘sensitivity’, decided to tell me last Tuesday (yes folks, about 24 hours after I miscarried) that a girl we know at work is pregnant. Quite how, in ANY way, this was supposed to be beneficial information to me at this time I really don’t know. Actually as a general rule, I’ve not had any major ‘bump envy’ since losing mine but this girl is a bit of a special circumstance – she is nearly the same age as me, only got married about a month before me….. and she gets to keep her baby, whereas I didn’t. I don’t wish her (or anyone!) anything bad, I really don’t, but it’s going to be so hard for me watching her knowing that I should be there too. So from that perspective, I think perhaps MIL thought she was preparing me but personally I think I would have been far better equipped to deal with this a few months down the line when the girl actually starts to show, rather than 24 hours after losing my own baby. Just my opinion but whatever. Now I just wish that I didn’t know anything about it because every time I see her I want to cry. I could be blissfully unaware right now… hell, I could’ve even been pregnant again myself before I ever found out about hers.
The lunch for 11 at our flat yesterday went well – my husband is a culinary genius! Everyone was very impressed with him, none more so than me! (Side note – I just realized I typed the word ‘husband’ without having to stop and think about it – I think I’m finally getting the hang of this Mr & Mrs Ralph thing! It’s only taken 4 months!) In fact we realized this morning that yesterday was our 4 month wedding anniversary so it was quite nice that we spent it with close friends. Our 6 month one (don’t worry, after the first year I’ll stop counting every month!) is two days before Valentines Day so I am hoping to book some kind of trip, or at least a night at a nice hotel for that weekend. I love him so much, I don’t know what I’d have done without him this last week.
Speaking of how much I love him…. How glad will we both be when this bleeding has stopped (it pretty much has actually) and we’ve been to get some.. er.. protection because OMG it’s been a while. I mean ok it’s only been 8 days but to us, it feels like a lifetime. Obviously we will not be attempting procreation for a few more weeks but practice makes perfect!