The one where I'm symptom spotting... uh oh

OK yes I hear you all yelling at your screens "You're mad woman, thinking you're pregnant already... you've only been off your pill a week!"

Well first of all I'd like to point out.... it's been a week and one day actually :p and secondly, I know it's very unlikely but I have been feeling a bit unusual and I'm not usually one for symptom spotting. But I guess anybody can be if they want something enough. So I will list them and then test in a week or so although I'm fairly sure it'll be negative.... but at the same time I kind of expect it won't be! Does that make sense? I don't know. Anyway...

The two main ones - flashes of nausea. Quite mild and they go quite quickly but they are happening at least once or twice a day. The one that got me particularly excited happened when I was drinking my tea - women in my family have a tendency to develop an aversion to tea very early on, and while my tea still tasted fine it made me nauseous for some reason so that's vaguely encouraging.

Pressure/pain very low next to my right hip bone. This one is strange... I just have a vague dull pressure down in my lower right abdomen which spikes to a slight pain occasionally - it is uncomfortable for me to lie on that side. Not very, just enough that I notice.

A headache which ebbs and returns... I've had this for the last 4 days and painkillers won't touch it. It's not particularly bad, just unusual that it doesn't disappear after sleep.

Just a really general heavy feeling in my lower stomach. This ties in with the lower abdominal pressure and I swear I practically waddled yesterday! Entirely in my head of course but I think the feeling is a real one.

Of course all of this could just be in my head because I'm getting too too toooo impatient... I'm sure it'll be our turn soon enough but I want it nooooowwww!! LOL. Anyway planning to test on Thursday which is probably still way too early (and pointless as it's practically impossible) but that's my MIL's birthday and wouldn't it just be the best birthday present EVER for her if I somehow was?? So will keep you posted. Well, me as no-one else reads :-)

The ones with our names

I know we will change our minds a million times before the time but wanted to record our thoughts for now! So far we have agreed on (in order of gender and then how much we like them!)...

Joshua James (this one is a definite if we ever have a boy)
Oliver Joseph
Benjamin Richard

Alexa Lacey
Leila Megan
Madelyn Rose

The one where I hate Adobe Acrobat

My God. I have been sat trying to combine two (huge admittedly) PDF files for THREE hours. Why oh why are we not provided with decent computers with which to do our jobs.

Ok so I've been feeling sick and headachey and generally a bit rubbish with weird tummy feelings/pains and I'm not sure why really. Of course what David and I really want to believe is that we've defied the odds and are somehow already pregnant but it's highly unlikely (read: pretty much impossible). Anyway wrong diary haha.

I am feeling so happy with life right now... money could be (a lot) be better but that is largely self inflicted and easily solved. But I love David so much and we're just so happy and excited that our wedding went exactly how we imagined and now we're looking forward to the next big things!!!

And right now the next big thing is lunch so..... :-D

The one with more TTC thoughts...

So at the moment I'm feeling two main things - crazy amounts of excitement and slight apprehension. Believe it or not, the apprehension has nothing to to with the baby.. at least not directly. I wish David seemed a bit more excited that's all. I know he is because he keeps bringing the baby up in random conversation and looks really happy but when it comes to the nitty gritty of it - ie. me wanting to read about stages of pregnancy or maternity clothes etc. he seems disinterested and says it's too soon. I get the impression he doesn't want to jinx us by assuming anything though which is fair enough I suppose. Plus I guess he's right in a way, it is too soon considering I'm not even pregnant yet!! But I can't quite seem to get my head around the idea that might not happen for us straight away... if I'm honest I fully expect to be pregnant in the next couple of months and I'm trying so hard not to because I know I could be setting myself up for disappointment when it takes longer (which it easily could of course).

So yes I know he's right to wait until we actually get pregnant before getting too excited but then I can't help thinking that we'll be like "Oh well let's not get too excited in the first 3 months in case we miscarry" and then "Oh let's not get too excited before the birth in case there are complications" and before you know it we'll have wasted the whole pregnancy worrying about things that will probably never happen instead of being excited for our beautiful baby's arrival! So I'm getting excited now dammit lol!

Ok so things to note - we have been off the pill for 5 days now and managed to have unprotected sex (in our fab new bed which we both admit to being glad will be the one our baby will most likely be conceived in - no previous partners etc. silly I know but hey!) three times before my withdrawal bleed started on Tuesday. So almost certainly not pregnant now obviously but hopefully my periods return to normal quickly.... fingers crossed!!!

The one where we completely changed our minds

Ok so scrap everything I said last time... well most of it. We ummed and ahhed long and hard (and only about money really, in every other respect we are completely sure) and decided that... we're going to try now! As of today I am off my pill! Realistically nothing is likely to happen for a month or two, although that said I have a friend who's son is the result of being off the pil for TWO WEEKS. So who knows??

So I'm taking my vitamins and cutting the alcohol right down (in truth the second one is no bad thing regardless of pregnancy haha!).

The one with my productive day and repetitive (but awesome!) playlist

So I'm having a pretty good day today, got lots done at work and the day is almost over. I downloaded loads of new songs on iTunes which I keep listening to over and over, even though I know I'll make myself hate the songs eventually.

Quite enjoying not being totally skint within a week of being paid (weddings will do that to you!) and I celebrated by buying myself a lovely, unnecessary dress from Jane Norman for Chezzie's birthday in London next month and pink shoes from Primark for £12... no matter that they're the most uncomfortable, ill fitting shoes that I've ever had the misfortune to wear, they were £12!!!! I do love a bargain.

So that was probably the least exciting entry in this whole diary, including the one about marrying Orlando Bloom in 2002/3 time... is it wrong I was still quite upset to hear he was married to a pregnant wife the other day despite being (partially) in the same situation myself? Lol I guess these teenage crushes never leave you.