The one where I'm finally going to learn to drive

Finally I have something non pregnancy related to write about!!! Well technically it is (isn’t everything now??) but it’s as different as you’re going to get at the moment so I’ll continue.

I might be learning to drive!!!! At the grand ‘old’ age of (almost) 24 I’m finally getting around to it. I say that I might be learning – I will be learning. I’m just being pessimistic about my ability to stick at it as I’ve got a bit of a mental block on driving since my last disastrous attempt at learning in 2007 (although in all honestly, I mainly blame the instructor and the fact that he was impatient and horrible for that fact that I didn’t pick it up and then gave up so quickly). I’m block booking 5 hours tomorrow so I will be doing them.

The reason for this sudden decision, is of course related to Pip – I always knew that one day I would have to learn and, although we have many other financial obligations at the moment that I would deem to be more important, they’re only going to be worse after Pip is born so it kinda makes sense to get it out of the way now really. Once I’ve learned it’s only about £20 a month to be added on to David’s insurance for the car so no extra expense there really. It’s just the learning that costs a fortune! But we’ll manage.

I am feeling rough rough rough at the moment…. The nausea, while really being fairly mild, just hangs over me like a horrible blanket all the time now and eating doesn’t seem to help much anymore or for very long either. It seems strange to me that it’s just started to get worse around the time it should be improving but hey, it’s still not *that* bad so I’m not complaining.

It’s my birthday tomorrow… woop woop! I am at work unfortunately but never mind, I am off on Friday and my brother is coming down and we have nice plans with my friends for the weekend so it’s all good! We’re also spilling the beans to the girls tomorrow… I know it’s not quite 12 weeks yet but given that I won’t be drinking at my own birthday and I’ve already used the antibiotics excuse, I really don’t have much choice in the matter haha! To be honest I think the risk of anything happening now is about as low as it is at 12 weeks anyway so if anything is going to happen, two weeks won’t make much difference. I feel good about this one though. Only about two more weeks until I should have another scan!! I’m so excited, I wonder when I’ll get an exact date? I guess I’ll ask the midwife tomorrow.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

The one where I'm 9 weeks and 4 days

I don’t know what is wrong with me today. I feel DRAINED. I had a bit of an energy spurt over the weekend where I felt slightly more like my old bouncy self but whatever that was, it’s gone now!! Never mind. The second trimester and (hopefully) feeling better is in sight! I can’t believe we’re already almost at that point. In just three short days, my pregnancy with Pip will be a quarter of the way through… maybe more, considering the likelihood of him waiting until his due date… mind boggling!!

So. Symptoms. Nothing new I don’t think, still got super bruisy feeling boobs but I think that should ease up soon… still feeling very tired but (with the exception of today!) I’m generally feeling more awake with each day that passes so hopefully we’re reaching the light at the end of the tunnel with that one as well! Nausea really hasn’t been anything to complain about – it seems to just come and go when it feels like it but isn’t often severe so to be honest, at this level I can cope with it easily for as long as it takes and I’m very thankful for that! The whole weird groin/leg/arm thing seems to have pretty much gone away, I still get the groin pain sometimes but not as badly (perhaps because I’m not worrying about it now!) which may or may not develop into something as I progress and gain weight but only time will tell on that one. Seeing as that side (my right hip/leg) is the side I have trouble with anyway thanks to my curved spine, it doesn’t surprise me that something has started there although I didn’t expect it to be this early of course! Hopefully it won’t cause me a lot of trouble later on anyway. I will mention it to the midwife on Thursday just to be sure but I imagine there won’t be much for her to say except to wait and see how it goes. As long as Pip is fine I’m happy to do that :-)

The baby shower I went to on Saturday (my friend Rob from work and his wife are due in just over 3 weeks now!) was really lovely and it’s totally made me want one! Her mum had organized it, we had a private area in a nice bar, there were cute little cupcakes with baby faces on, some lovely food and she got some really nice presents and was generally made a fuss of (they made a fuss of me a little bit too because Vicky had told them about my little Pip – I didn’t mind her telling though because they’re all people I don’t know!). David came to pick me up when it finished and we had a lovely evening relaxing and watching (well sleeping through in my case!) Casino Royale…. Mmm Daniel Craig….

On Sunday we were at David’s parents (I know, it must appear that we practically live there!) to celebrate his granddad’s birthday. I wasn’t really feeling in the mood and things were grating on me (not really worth going into) but suffice to say that sometimes I just wish people (or families when they’re all like it!!!) would keep their opinions to themselves occasionally. You can’t always be right about everything! Grrr. Anyway David and I ate breakfast at 8 before going over there and by about 12 I was feeling really quite ill as I was so hungry/queasy but dinner wasn’t due to be ready for another two hours but, not being at home, I didn’t want to make a fuss and start asking for food in case I sounded ungrateful or demanding or something. Besides I don’t think my MIL believes in morning sickness, just because she didn’t have it and of course she is the fountain of all knowledge about absolutely everything and if it didn’t happen to her, it’s not real. Blah. Sorry.

Sooooo… to cut a long story short, it was a really nice day but sometimes I find David’s family a bit much to handle in large doses, particularly when I’m feeling tired and extremely grumpy and they’re all determined that they know everything about everything (even when it means disagreeing with each other) so I was quite glad when it was time to go home. At least I could blame my grumpiness on tiredness haha! I don’t think I was too openly grumpy but it really is tempting sometimes!

Not long until I can go home now… I’m not doing overtime this week as I have a few things on in the evenings plus I was finding it a bit much to be honest. Midwife appointment and birthday celebrations on Thursday… yay! So I will update then if not before.

The one halfway through week 9

Just a quick one to say I haven't dropped off the face of the planet lol! 9 weeks and 3 days, we're almost quarter of the way there :-) I'm doing fine, I had a lovely time at the baby shower yesterday and I'm looking forward to my midwife appointment and my birthday on Thursday! I will write properly about everything tomorrow. Enjoy the sun everybody! Xx

The one with the doctors appointment

Here we are at almost 9 weeks and I actually have a fair bit I need to write about for once! Still pregnancy related and definitely sometime I will want to remember for next time (one step at a time though, eh?!)

I think I mentioned in my last entry about the leg ache I’ve been experiencing for the last few days. Basically I have this constant dull ache in my leg joint (probably officially known as my groin area?) which isn’t that painful, just a bit annoying particularly at night. Anyway a couple of nights ago I noticed it made my leg feel a bit strange, sort of achy down the back of my leg and my foot felt a bit tingly. After the ache had carried on for another day I started to get a bit annoyed and not wanting to wait for my doctors appointment on Friday so yesterday we made an emergency doctors appointment for that evening. The doctor we saw (one I’ve never seen before) was so lovely and reassured me right away, she though (the same as I did) that as I’d had absolutely no abdominal pains or bleeding that most importantly the baby was almost certainly fine. Her diagnosis (hopefully to be confirmed at my midwife appointment next Thursday – more about that in a minute!) was relaxin issues. Relaxin being the hormone that is loosening my joints up, even at this early stage! She also did a urine text as I’d worried that I’d needed to wee a few times and nothing had come out but that was all fine.

Anyway so last night we went home, I was feeling quite reassured about everything but then just before bed (about 9:30pm) I noticed my arm felt a bit funny. Sort of heavy and a bit numb. That continued through the night and I couldn’t really sleep (probably more through worry than anything else) so in the end David rang the emergency doctors line and asked them about it. They were.. um.. helpful as always (!) but didn’t seem concerned as I hadn’t had any abdominal pain or bleeding and David said he thought the circulation to my arm was fine (my hand was warm). Actually a good way to describe how my arm feels – like it has too much blood in it or something! I don’t know.

So I really don’t know what to do about it now. No doctors seem worried about it but I don’t really wanna leave it till next Thursday with my arm feeling weird like this. Ah yes, I have my 10 week midwife appointment on Thursday at my GPs. My pregnancy is all booked in at my doctors so I should get my 12 week scan date soon as well :-) I will try not to worry. As long as Pip is healthy (which I suspect he is) then I am not too worried, as long it’s not something that threatens my health of course. Fingers crossed…

The one with growing up

Wow I haven’t half gotten complacent. So 8 weeks and 4 days today. It would’ve been 9 weeks and 1 day if those 4 days hadn’t been ‘stolen’ from me! Anyway so I’m back up to the stage I was already ‘at’ before the scan and only three more days until 9 weeks proper! Woo! I have my booking in appointment at the doctors on Friday morning (I knoooow finally!) but I didn’t see the point in making one before the scan gave me the all clear…. Just one more thing to cancel if things hadn’t gone as we’d hoped. However they did so I’m finally making my pregnancy official at a whopping 9 weeks and 1 day!

A symptom is annoying me. I’m not sure what it is or if I’m supposed to have it or when (if!) it will go away. My right leg is achey. Like between the leg joint if that makes sense? Then it kind of travels down the back of my leg a bit. It’s worse at night but now I’m thinking about it I notice it all the time. Last night I even noticed it even gave me a slightly tingly foot, like pins and needles. I’m wondering about a trapped nerve or something, it seems way too early to be all the stuff Google suggests (Restless Leg Syndrome, sciatica, varicose veins etc.) which mostly seem to be third trimester-y complaints! I also wonder if Pip’s house is on the right hand side as I have this feeling (where the ache is actually) of something being sort of ‘in the way’. I guess my uterus is probably getting pretty big now and it won’t have popped up out of my pelvis yet so perhaps the leg ache will improve when that happens (should be in the next few weeks right?)

I had a lovely quiet weekend this weekend. On Saturday we just chilled out at home (why does this sound like it should be part of a Craig David song?? LOL) and watched movies and Emma popped in for a bit for a chat, it was lovely to see her. On Sunday we went to David’s parents (again!) to scrounge Sunday lunch due to the fact that we are hideously poor and without food (pay day next week woohoo! And this month we won’t have horrible £200 vet bills!) Next weekend there’s a bit more going on as my parents arrive on Thursday afternoon so we’re going for dinner to celebrate my birthday and then we’re off work on Friday to spend the day with them before they go. On Saturday I have a baby shower to go to (woohoo!) and on Sunday we’re at David’s parents AGAIN (legitimately this time!) as we’re celebrating his granddad’s birthday. In my current state of exhaustion I will need another weekend to get over that one!

Something that’s been bothering me lately which I can’t be bothered to go into in huge detail for now, is the increasing sense of alienation I have from a couple of my friends. I can’t blame the pregnancy (not that I would!) as they don’t know about it yet… or perhaps that’s what the problem is? Anyway, this is a group of four girls I’ve seen nearly every week for the last four years of my life…. And although I still see two of them as regularly as our lives will allow, I feel like the other two have kind of lost interest. They were never the best for initiating contact with anyone to begin with and I know everybody is busy with their lives, plus these two are both planning their weddings in 2012 but still… would it kill them to make some effort? I still do! But then when I think about it, sometimes I wonder how much I still have in common with them anyway and perhaps they just feel the same way and wonder if it’s worth it. Growing up is scary :-( I suppose David and Pip are my priority now but it’d just be a shame to lose contact with my friends completely…. But then I guess the ones that are worth it will stick around, they’ve already proved that – love my Chezzie and Emma <3

The one where I'm 7 weeks and 6 days

I originally started this update to go into the scan in more detail but then I realized I pretty much covered it all yesterday! All I can do is reiterate how unbelievably relieved I was to see that heartbeat flickering away so fast. It should be around 3 beats per second now I think but of course I don’t think they counted anything like that. Anyway I’d worked myself up into such a nervous state in the waiting room (plus they were running late so I had longer to worry!) that I’d all but convinced myself there was going to be nothing in there or that there’d be no heartbeat. As soon as she started the ultrasound and the first thing I saw was a big grey baby blob that had most definitely not been there 10 days ago and she announced “Well there’s the heartbeat!”, I just let all the stress and nervousness go in one big massive sob!! It surprised me as although I realize it’s a very special moment, as I mentioned yesterday I’m not really the type but I had somehow known that that’s how I’d react before I even got in there!

Morning sickness/insane hunger (sometimes I can’t tell the difference properly!) is still slightly more obvious than it was a few days ago but certainly nothing I’d complain about (on the contrary, compared to some women’s stories I’d say I’ve gotten very lucky or else I’m just much better at coping haha!) and tiredness levels seem to have plateaued but certainly not improved… well to be fair, I’m finding it easier to stay awake in the evenings now but I still feel very drained all day, every day. I think my sore boobs have increased slightly as well (I notice them at night now if I roll over). Pip still loves all things savoury - I could honestly live off chicken right now – except occasionally when he will just go and flummox us all by wanting something REALLY sweet, such as the sherbet Dip Dab I was almost forced to buy earlier today because I got the idea in my head and couldn’t get rid of it! But yeah as a rule I’m still off the sweet stuff but perhaps that’s not so weird given that my non pregnant self doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth either? Certainly chocolate has never made me nauseous before though (unless I’ve eaten way too much anyway!)

Bizarrely the weekend is already almost here again! I’m hoping to just have a nice quiet one after last weeks hectic decorating frenzy, I don’t think we have anything planned (and certainly no money) so hopefully I will get my wish. David is unbelievably cute about everything, he emailed me earlier just to tell me he keeps thinking about me and Pip and smiling and everyone in his office must think he’s gone off his trolley!!! Still only a few more weeks until the secret is out… although I’m so bloated all the time now that if I wear anything remotely snug fitting, to be honest the game is as good as up! I really am not exaggerating either as other people (admittedly people that know) have commented on it – I think it’s because my stomach is (was!?) one of those washboard ones (except much less toned!) so anything other than flat is very odd to see. Still I don’t mind showing, whatever the reason – bloating, fluid, or whatever, it wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for my baby :-) I have our scan picture as my phone background (we both do I think) and I just can't stop looking at it!

Pip Scan #2 (8 weeks and 2 days)

Just a quicky, I'll update properly another day! Pip is fine, measuring 1.4cm and we saw a nice heartbeat which according to my book now makes our chances of having a healthy baby in 7 months time a whopping 97%! So yay! All fingers and toes crossed for Pip to keep growing nicely :-) we didn't get a picture but David took one of their copy on his phone :p

I actually cried with relief at the scan when we saw the heartbeat. I'm not really a crying person, especially not a 'happy tears' person but a few tears slipped out anyway lol! Hey I'm hormonal, it's allowed :-)

Oh ps - I'm now 7 weeks 5 days rather than 8 weeks 2 days. I will update the ticker when I get a chance to! Get me, knowing when I ovulated :-D I'm so proud of myself haha!

The one where it's finally the day of #Scan 2

T-minus NO DAYS!! It’s finally here!! I am so excited! And encouraged by the fact that my ‘morning sickness’ (which is not always in the morning, nor has it ever been very severe!) seems to have slightly increased over the last couple of days… my book says that hcg hormones peak this week so I guess if this is the worst it’s going to get, I’m one very VERY lucky girl! (Famous last words… watch this space haha!)

So. Everybody please think lucky thoughts today for me, David and Pip at the scan. I feel very at peace about the whole thing (despite the nerves!) and do not expect anything to be wrong with little one but I’m worried to feel like this as it will make the shock that much greater if there does turn out to be some kind of problem. I just hope my intuition doesn’t fail me today.

So today I have a lovely day ahead – work are taking us (my department) for a free lunch today between 12 and 2 and then we (David and I, not my department haha!) get to leave at 3 for the scan…. Also I’m sure David would like me to point out that he’s getting shiny new phone today which makes the day nice although it doesn’t really affect me :p




Awwww…… *mush* and to make my day even more lovely… this just popped up on my screen – we really are a bit sickening to be honest. I mean don’t get me wrong, Pip has certainly increased this level of disgustingness but we were always pretty bad for it.

Oh one last thing – the bunnies are successfully (I hope) all living outdoors in the big hutch! We are keeping a close eye on them (well Peter and Thumper really) as they still occasionally have little tantrums with each other, but I think Peter and Hazel have a little bunny crush on each other so I’m not too worried about them. So finally we have our lounge back! We also sorted out a lot of things in the spare room (Pip’s room) over the weekend to try and ‘baby proof’ the shelves (ie. move everything off the bottom two rows ready for toyboxes etc. and move anything that isn’t child friendly up to the top ones. It’s mostly books on them anyway so not really a problem. We would love for his room not to have any of our stuff in it at all but, living in a flat, we just can’t do without those shelves…. I’m sure Pip won’t mind sharing for a bit! That’s about all we have planned for baby preparation until about July/August time which is when we (well David!) plans to decorate – we didn’t want to start too early but I do want plenty of time for those paint fumes to be out of the room properly!

Anyway. I will update after the scan when I get a chance. Please please please let everything be ok. We love our Pip so much already :-)

The one where I'm 8 weeks... T-minus 2 days until #Scan 2!!

Just a quickie as I realised I hadn't updated in a while... 8 weeks today! Hopefully anyway! Apparently at 8 weeks your risk of miscarriage goes down so that's good... I'm getting increasingly nervous about the scan on Tuesday, I keep expecting that Pip won't have grown since last time or there'll be no heartbeat :-( I just want to know our baby is ok. Last time it was ok for there not to be much to see as it was so early but there will have to be something now. Please please please!!

Back to work tomorrow - I will update again after the scan if not before!

The one where it's T-minus 6 days until scan #2!

Wow it’s been a while. For me anyway. Well excluding that time where I wrote about three entries in as many years…. Anyway.

Firstly everything is fine. My absence here has only been caused by there being lots and lots to do at work at the moment and quite simply, not being able to be ar$ed to do anything whatsoever that involves getting off the sofa when I get home. The full on tiredness just seems to have given way some kind of ‘movement of any kind sucks’ lethargy and everything just seems like too much effort, so I don’t. LOL.

I am super super hungry a lot now. I have lots of interesting stretchy twinges going on down there so perhaps there’s some growing going on, I hope so. Anyway food. We went to B&Q on Monday to buy paint (we’re decorating out bedroom while we still can – more on that in a minute!) and on the way I just got so hungry that we had to nip into Tescos and I bought… you guessed it…. chicken off the hot food counter! It was sooo good and I literally just devoured it when we’d barely even left the shop. Yesterday I also thought that peanut butter and bacon on toast seemed like a good idea (I never got around to trying it) but today, when I was actually planning on trying it, the idea repulses me. Oh well.

In my attempts not to end up the size of a house by 40 weeks (I’m not kidding, I actually have some kind of a tiny bump and I’m not even 8 weeks yet – I know it’s mostly bloating but still!), I am trying to curb my sometimes rather large appetite with fruit, carrot sticks and the like as much as possible. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I did eat the most humongous plate of spaghetti bolognese known to man last night but on the bright side, it kept me full for the rest of the evening.

All this talking about food is making me hungry……

T-minus 6 days until Scan #2!!

The one where it's girls night

In two days time I will officially have been pregnant for the longest time I’ve ever been. I feel like if I can make it past this day, everything will be alright. I know that’s stupid and anything can happen at anytime but that’s how I feel. It’s still so ridiculously early as well.

Tonight I’m going on a girls night, it’s been planned for ages and there’s a whole load of us getting together, some of whom I haven’t seen in ages so it should be fun even though at the moment all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for the next 5 weeks. I will be using the old antibiotics excuse as to why I’m not drinking of course and my lovely hubby will be picking me up at a reasonable hour (well before 12 anyway) so I’m really quite looking forward to it. Once I find a ‘bloating friendly’ dress in my wardrobe anyway! The only thing that rather upsets me is that I can’t take part in the chav-tastic tradition of drinking wine (from the bottle of course!) on the train but I will get over it in time *sniff*

We don’t have much planned for this weekend (or the rest of this month actually – thank goodness really as we’re broke from putting money aside for Pip!) except dinner with David’s brother and wife tomorrow night. They offered to take us out for both our birthdays (David’s has just been, mine is coming up) so we figured we wouldn’t say no to a free Chinese (who would?!)

I am on the look out for some sort of fool proof newborn checklist – I am someone who craves lists and list-making for all of life’s eventualities, it’s just how I function and whenever I try to think of all the stuff we’re going to need to buy, I somehow feel like I must be missing things out. However, having never been a parent before, I have no idea what these things are. Google is being surprisingly unhelpful (although I am trying to stealthily look at work so I’m not being particularly thorough) so if anybody knows of one (or is bored enough to consider looking for one!!) then please link me to it.

By the way, it’s not that I’ve become so boring that all I can think about is baby stuff (although that is partially true!), it’s really that nothing else is happening at the moment. I promise when it does, you’ll be the first to know :-)

The one with another scan in 12 days!

I. feel. So. tired. I can’t believe how physically drained I am today. It’s insane!!! Pip must be doing something pretty major in there for me to feel this tired, I was the same last night as well. David said I fell asleep at 8:30 and he woke me at 9 as he thought I’d have trouble sleeping if I went to sleep so early (he was right too!) but I just fell straight back to sleep until he woke me again at about 9:30 to make me go to bed. After that, I was out like a light until I woke up at about 2am (after a really bizarre scary dream in which David was the guy from Phycho, complete with dress and wig and he was chasing me around a house trying to kill me - I also needed the loo!) and I couldn’t get back to sleep for a while after that.

So if the hospital changes my dates after my next scan on the 15th, she reckons I’ll probably be 3-4 days behind which if I did ovulate on day 16 instead of 14 as I suspected, would account for that rather nicely. So I might not be quite 6 weeks yet (which explains why there wasn’t much to see at the scan) but until I’m given a new date for certain, I won’t bother to change my ticker. So only 2 more days until the day we lost Spot. I knew getting to this point would be scary but I feel so different about this pregnancy that I’m not as worried as I expected to be. Still…

I just can’t wait to see the baby and hear that heartbeat! I hope hope hope we get that far. Less than two weeks. In fact… T-minus 12 days!!

Only one more day until the weekend, it just cannot come fast enough for me. The long awaited girls night is tomorrow night and I am determined to go even though I’ve already asked David if he’ll come and pick me up so I don’t have to stay out too late! Let’s see how well I fare :p

Ooh and one more random development – remember how I was worrying about this whole bridesmaids dress shopping thing on Sunday? Well she has cancelled Sunday due to her massive uni workload! So hopefully by the time she gets around to rescheduling it, I will be further along and able to tell her exactly why I’m worried about money, dress size etc. So as Emma pointed out, some things are just fate :-)

Pip scan #1 (6 weeks and 3 days)

Just a quick one to say that the scan went fine - there really wasn't much to see, she thinks I'm probably a few days behind what I thought (remember I wondered if I'd felt ovulation pains on cycle day 16 instead of 14? Scary to think I was probably right!) so no heartbeat or embryo to see yet. However there was a perfectly sized gestational sac with a nice yolk in the right place so definitely no chance of an ectopic and things seems to be growing properly. I have a repeat scan on the 15th at which they will probably adjust my dates... But anyway we should definitely see Pip and hear a heartbeat then!

So basically I'm still nervous but I've had about as much reassurance as is possible at this point so I'm just gonna have to be patient. The only other thing of note is that David and I gave in the urges (lol!) this evening so now I'm terrified we'll have caused damage or something even though I know we won't have. Definitely need to relax haha! Until next time.

The one where I wonder...

... if agreeing to do 5 hours overtime at work next week was such a smart idea... *yawn*

The one where I'm 6 weeks 3 days... Scan day!

The day is finally here! I thought it would never come! So less than 7 hours to go…. I may have peed on another stick this morning just to be sure and the line (if this is even possible!) came up quicker and darker than the last one so I’m still reassured. Of course all this really means is that my hormones are still up but I suppose they must be up for a reason. Anyway scan! I can’t wait.

Ah yes. The rabbits. I should probably fill you in on those little bundles of *ahem* joy as well. Hazel, as of last night, was permitted to have her cone removed and has miraculously left her staples alone! She is looking much better I have to say, they both are. They have a check up on Monday which is when her staples will be removed (if she hasn’t already done it herself by then!) I’m glad to have that whole mess done and dusted, we can get on with the introductions next week! I wonder how that will go…

I have been feeling very demoralized at work at the moment (yes, I know… so what else is new?) I guess because I have so much else on my mind right now and I know this year is going just fly by now (what with my hopefully spending the majority of it pregnant, the whole year is just a giant countdown really!) and then I’ll be off work for about 6 months after that. It’s hard to view your job the same way when something this huge and life changing is (hopefully!) going on inside your belly as you work – it’s hard to take your mind off it! Especially as I know that little one’s heart should be beating (even if I can’t see or hear it yet). I know even when I’m back to work afterwards, my focus on it will never be the same again because a part of me will be off out there somewhere away from me and I imagine it will be… weird and hard to get used to.

Hopefully I will get a pic from the scan to post in here, I know there won’t be much to see but I will anyway and I will update with all the details later!

The one the day before the scan!

Six weeks and two days. Oh. My. God. Scan tomorrow!!!! I am so excited. I so so so hope everything is ok. I would love to see a heartbeat but I will try not to worry myself if I can’t, I know it’s very early. Anyway if they don’t, it just means I’ll get another scan next week so yay! Most of all though, I hope everything is in the right place and growing properly.

We’ve been having a bit of a look at our budget for early next year (the maternity pay months), it’s gonna be tough but do-able of course! I mean, it won’t even improve much when I go back to work because of childcare costs (although it’s definitely worthwhile financially for me to return) but once the debt is cleared, things will be much easier. Of course that’s going to take a bit longer now but never mind. I can’t bring myself to care too much really, I know we’ll manage (people have managed on a LOT worse than us, our own parents included!) and I’m just so excited for Pip’s arrival although I know that’s ages away!

It’s weird… I keep thinking about Pip as a real person who’s already here even though I try not to as it’s so very early. It’s just so very different from my time with Spot. I’m sure I must have known something was wrong there. I never really thought about the future or the actual implications of having a child then, I guess there didn’t seem any need to somehow. Funny that.

I just hope I haven’t said all of this only to be bitterly disappointed tomorrow if things don’t go how we expect them to. I’m sure little Pip must be in there, growing nicely for his mummy and daddy to see him tomorrow! Oh yeah I have a sneaking suspicion that Pip is a boy – I have no idea why (other than the whole chicken and cheese thing!), my predictions are never based on anything but I have a 100% record so far…. Well with my two little cousins anyway! Other predictions I have made which have yet to be proven but I want them here for my own records – I think that Kate (my baby buddy with Spot whose little one will now be three months older than mine) is having a girl. Her 20 week scan is in 5 days so let’s see if I’m right! I also think my friends Rob and Vicky (who are due in just 7 short weeks!) are having a boy. They haven’t found out the sex so it will be a surprise for them too. If I’m right about both of these then perhaps Pip really will be a boy (or perhaps I’m just four times lucky!)

I know one thing…. I will be peeing on a stick tomorrow morning :-)